memories. this is not the right time to cling on 'em.

as i sit in my workstation, i stopped as it recurs vividly in my mind. until i realized that tears started to roll. i cant help but think of the "good times". as individuals we share not-so-similar views. the rebuttals that made me concede (not to please nor approve that yours are better, but appease with you), the humor, the touch, being too sensitive and radical, the interests, the vices, etc. these things that challenged my very core, draws a clear picture of what we've become... and i dunno why, for pete's sake, i still couldnt understand a multitude of things/events that passed by.

i assume. i struggle. i am angry. and i cant bear with the "idea". your idea. and i am so sick of understanding the hell out of it. i admit, i feel wrongly of the situtation. and i just let it happen. watching myself drift into solitude.

though there's only one thing: no matter how hard the feeling gets, my mind get to filter and see good memories.

and i am starting to hate myself.

happy birthday, hubby..

 … Got this from Ruthie. I can attest to everything's written here. I hope I find the strength to act/heed on these advises. But one thing's for sure, it takes TIME and experience to become stronger...
The greatest advise

Don't date because you are desperate.
Don't marry because you are miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't philander because you think you are irresistible.

Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat. Don't lie. Don't pretend.
Don't dictate because you are smarter.
Don't demand because you are stronger.

Don't sleep around because you think you are old enough and know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell yourself, your family, or your ideals. Don't stagnate.!

Don't regress.
Don't live in the past. Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr/Mrs Right.
Don't throw your life away on absolutely Mr Wrong because your
biological clock is ticking.

Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won.
Only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.

To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.

To make yourself happy, pursue your passions and be the best of what you can be.
Simplify your life.
Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements: abusive friends, nasty habits, and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities but don't overdose on duty.

Don't live life recklessly without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you are not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.

Go on that trip. Don't postpone it.
Say those words. Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you have to, even at society's scorn.

Write poetry.
Love Deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.

Take care of yourself. Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except YOU.

It is true that life does not get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid. Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.

Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in your God.
Don't grow old. Just grow YOU!

When you give someone your time, you are giving them a portion of your life that you'll never get back.
Your time is your life. That is why the greatest gift you can give someone is your time.
Relationships take time and effort, and the best way to spell love is
T-I-M-E because the essence of love is not what we think or do or provide for others, but how much we give of ourselves.

-- Rick Warren, The Purpose Driven Life

Got this from Yahoo News! I remember discussing this with Magic about companies hoping to be considerate because of (and refer to) the study - 9% is still something! i agree to that, and given the chance, employees should also know their limitations of their internet usage.

Anyhoo, read on...

MELBOURNE - Caught Twittering or on Facebook at work? It'll make you a better employee, according to an Australian study that shows surfing the Internet for fun during office hours increases productivity.

The University of Melbourne study showed that people who use the Internet for personal reasons at work are about 9 percent more productive that those who do not.

Study author Brent Coker, from the department of management and marketing, said "workplace Internet leisure browsing," or WILB, helped to sharpened workers' concentration.

"People need to zone out for a bit to get back their concentration," Coker said on the university's website

"Short and unobtrusive breaks, such as a quick surf of the Internet, enables the mind to rest itself, leading to a higher total net concentration for a days' work, and as a result, increased productivity," he said.

According to the study of 300 workers, 70 percent of people who use the Internet at work engage in WILB.

Among the most popular WILB activities are searching for information about products, reading online news sites, playing online games and watching videos on YouTube.

"Firms spend millions on software to block their employees from watching videos, using social networking sites or shopping online under the pretence that it costs millions in lost productivity," said Coker. "That's not always the case."

However, Coker said the study looked at people who browsed in moderation, or were on the Internet for less than 20 percent of their total time in the office.

"Those who behave with Internet addiction tendencies will have a lower productivity than those without," he said.
 

april 4 09
saturday - megamall

first saturday off from school. wow, sarap ng feeling!!!

am pretty excited of the "two-months time off" commonly called as vacation, summer, er, chillax... and of course A LOT of bonding times with the kids and hubby.

lemme label my first saturday as "priceless". why? nothing beats doing "your firsts" with love ones. *dont be too green* i get to have it with hubby and our kiddos. it's a movie date slash pig-out with dessert...

i did my morning routine with ruthie dear @ FF. met hubby & kids at the lounge past 11am. we kick-off to the nearest food chain, mcdonalds, and grabbed happy meals for the kids (insert: i really dont know what's with mcdo n jbee, kids were extremely delighted upon seeing 'em. was thinking that maybe they're some kind of a "mage" that kids cant get over with) we packed some goodies for the movie house. lo and behold, young enthusiasts were building the house full.

we watched monsters vs aliens. not to mention the synchronized oohs and aahs of the kids inside the movie house. presumingly, they've enjoyed it (including me & hubby). kids were really growing too fast. before they get to sleep in between scenes, but now, they'd share with you their giggles, laughters and would even tell you the story over and over and over again. 

after the movie, we went strolling, grabbed some stuff. and had an added treat - pigged out on bake and churn for their ice cream cake. it's a small stall along building A, very accessible. and it tastes soooo good. we sure did enjoy this sweet treat. pics posted below :)

mommie and kiddos

enjoyin their slices

what did mom says about "sharing food"?

whew... it may be tiring though, but we really had a great time together. Saturday is a blast. they're my greatest outlet, one that gets me out of this insane, cruel world. and im so thankful of having em.

*we also had a blissful Sunday. thanks to jasmin, ehm and moniq for the visit. it's so nice seeing our kids play with their cousin, moniq. really enjoyed the night, though bitin :)
 

... and that means a loooooooooot for me!

after two stressful weeks, of preparing for our final papers and exams, of being deprived for sleep, of juggling with work, school and family, i can now sit back and relax this summer. that is official!

my previous post can attest to the helluva friday i had. spell struggle. instead of taking my usual nap after shift, i had to scan ppt notes and read. say good luck to information overload. hoping that azucena wont bite if i miss a thing.

At home, I went online hoping to finish the readings. of course, andian ang YM with meg, text with cleo and "call-a-friend" with cams. ang busy lang. we all have our share of insomia-ish for a night. i decided to go to Solair early, did review with fran and meggie. and of course, strategically saved our places.. hehe.. the weather wasnt too good. we're hoping that our goody-goody professor would cancel the exam and have it as a "take home exam". and to no avail, we failed to pursuade sadsad and deal with this together. ang funny lang, coz the electricity even went off while ate ces is doing her report. *nakikisama*

take a look at the exam (courtesy of cleo). spell nosebleed. infairness, nanakit ang kamay namin dian.

and hooorrraaayyyyy... we're done with sadsad. and what's odd is, i didn't feel exhausted or tired after. ang hyper lang. well, maybe becoz im too excited to see hubby AND we've decided to celebrate that night, to officially declare that the semester has ended...

camwhoring at school with cams, cleo, fran, rain, meg, tita and sir sadsad. we looooove meggie's Philippine flag jacket. (go check our pics, click here) i went off with cams and cleo to trinoma. meet hubby and we had dinner at dencio's. we did made a lot of chikkas, and sure hope that IR ladies are complete. thumbs up for these ladies for making my school year exciting, worth it and fun!  i'll definitely miss you, guys...

i ended the night uploading our pics and play Loco Rocco. distress lang. and tomorrow, i'll have more time with hubby and kids. and make lots of sleep...

Sedentary lifestyle is a medical neologism used to denote a type of lifestyle most commonly found in modern (particularly Western) cultures.

It is characterized by sitting or remaining inactive for most of the day (for example, in an office), with little or no exercise. It is believed to be a factor in obesity, and, as such, may contribute to other diseases, such as type II diabetes, heart disease, depression and even hemorrhoids.

Lack of exercise causes muscle atrophy, i.e. shrinking and weakening of the muscles and accordingly increases susceptibility to physical injury. Additionally, Physical fitness is correlated with immune system function; a reduction in physical fitness is generally accompanied by a weakening of the immune system.

Despite the well-known benefits of physical activity, many adults and many children lead a relatively sedentary lifestyle and are not active enough to achieve these health benefits.

A sedentary lifestyle is defined as engaging in no leisure-time physical activity (exercises, sports, physically active hobbies) in a 5-week period.

and i am changing this... BIG TIME!!!! Let's get it on...

My Challenge: four pillars (sport, strength, health, shape)

got in. work it out. no buts, no ifs. stay motivated. one year and that's it!

good luck! reality thus bites...

"a strong mind starts with a fit body"

Repost from Kate and Mau's blog.

Twas a forwarded message, nevertheless, it moved me. I just hope people get to realize that being with someone, whether in a relationship or married life, is a commitment one has to value. Married life is not as if one has to want or an escapade. It's a realization that both of you had committed, a life long commitment.

Ladies, thanks for sharing. It's worth reading after all.

And for hubby, Thank you for giving me that opportunity. I love it when we get to surpass, every trial we'd had for the pass nine years, together. I'll definitely grow old with you...

Read along....

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. "I want a divorce!" I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Why"? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer, she had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me.. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly, don't tell our son about the divorce. I
nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. 

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life tome. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday work-out made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me, she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly
and naturally. I held her body tightly, it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more.

Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank, blah..blah.. blah. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Missin' my IR ladies...
 

* I missed class last saturday (dec 6th) for our account teambuilding. This coming sat (dec 13th), will be our Year End party @ SMX. And most probably, I wont attend class (for the 2nd time). It'll be Solair's xmas party, too. sigh.

Too bad, wont see my friends, tri-nur-mer buddies...:(

I miss you, ladies... update me with our christmas party ha...

See you soon...

My favorite pic of Robert Pattison. Had it as my desktop pic. It is one of the few things I look forward to at the office.

Everytime I open my pc, I get that "will-never-ever-change-sigh"...

Robert Pattison is LOVE...

I didnt get the chance to post my thanksgiving entry. I was in a hurry last thursday that I wanted to fly out of the office and off to do some errands. Since it is an American Holiday, it means no work for most of us. The good part is, it'll be a L-O-N-G weekend. More time to settle things, more time for the kids and more time for the fam.

I have worked on an agenda. It is so common for hubby and I to settle with our schedules and plan ahead. It'll give us time to do stuff out of our circle, like hubby meeting & catching up with friends while me attending Saturday class and accomplish my to-do list religiously.

I've started doing my Christmas and New Year list (and budgeting). Bought stuff in preparation for the Holidays. Had completed our obligations like the grocery, bills and all that. I have learned from last year's hectic schedule. I dont wanna be in that same situation where we have waited for a cab, for 3 hours, in the taxi lane. Spell panic buying.

Well for this Holiday Season, given that I'll be having my time off (for two weeks). I don't want to be panicky and spoil what I have prepared for. There's a lot of things to thank for this year. And I wanted to start it by celebrating ThanksGiving with my family. *regardless of how tired hubby and i was*

I am blessed. We are. And I humbly thank the people who have made this year remarkable. I wanted to apologize for the shortcomings, too.

We're looking forward for 2009. We're now ready... :)

Happy Thanksgiving!

*will try to update this crib when i get the chance*

IR Ladies: dont worry about the pics, i got them covered. hopefully this thanksgiving, i'll be able to update every pics. it's my anti stress, y'know *lol

**************
 

it's too obvious that i havent updated my cribs. i know its too oblivious to admit if i would say i am too busy.... but not now, definitely not this month.

when i checked my work e-mails, this is what ive got...

HR Mailbox/Requests = 25+79 and counting
Priority Mailbox = 47 requests
Julie C. Project (due Nov 17th)
HR brochure (due Nov 14th)
Assembly Assessment (call in candidates for Dec 4 assessment)

should i say more...

this is to officially announce that i will be busy (as a bee) this november through december. and i have to be on hiatus until my queue went down, er, until further notice. *sigh*

what's sad about it is that i cant update my cribs like before *boo*

i cant wait for thanksgiving and i definitely cant wait for my two weeks vacation this december (now im thinking this, is the price i have to pay before i go on leave? *tsk*).., and im a lil psyche with my january work load.. harhar
 

"self: think happy thoughts vhine. this is a good year, a good passing"

one helluva week for me...

camsie, you're right. i am way too tired this week. i dont even wanna talk, felt like im getting weaker everyday.

*i can hear you sayin': vhine, think of happy thoughts.. happy, happy, happy*

last saturday, there's camwhoring with IR201 friends, *surprised* birthday celebration of Dr. B (consider it as triple celeb - since Dr B is *overwhelmed* that day, he moved the deadline for the final paper and long exam. wwoohhoooo!!!!!.. take note: no more final exam, no more final paper  presentation.. so happy) and (thank you for the) sumptuous meal. after class, hubby and i met up with some people-dot-net friends at metrowalk. we had dinner, camwhoring *again* and booze.

what an enormous saturday, haven't done that for a while...

anyhoo, hubby and i went home around 4 in the morning... and it strucked us big time... there's errands to make, and i havent started my readings. so tiring but its all worth it. *priceless*

we'll even have an overnight prep of the final paper at Marie's crib. though I'm of a different group, ive volunteered myself. I am so excited. *wink* i know i miss Holiday Inn last Saturday. i cant miss this time.... take note: i am not bitter... haha

my schedule may sound impossible, but i know i can work it through... sorry naman if i have not posted the pictures last Sat. I *literally* have no time... need to focus with work and our final papers/exam this week but cant go on hiatus..

though i am a lil swamped with work and school, funny, but i am enjoying what i have right now. with these series of events, ive had this disposition i once had. or maybe becoz little by little we're hitting our plans....

it just made me realized... to count my blessings, be thankful for what i have right now, and keep my focus... no more worries...